Heh heh. I'm doing it. Stressful? You know it. In fact, I am stressed out of my mind! I hate all seasons except for winter, but right now I cannot wait for summer so we might be able to go to the circus. If my parents think we can go - economy problems right now, so that crap.
Well, anyway, I got to tell you: the process of writing isn't really very fun. It's such a splendor to think of the ideas, but actually making them sound good is hell. I'm reading about 8 books on how to write - it's fun, actually. I've been trying to follow the rules, but... sometimes they make "rules" as just a personal preference. XD
Anyway, I sometimes wonder if I'm going to spend my whole life stressed. Probably. I bring it on myself. Pictures to draw, comics to make, stories to write, games to program... I hate it when people nag me, by the way. Seriously. It makes me despise them. I'm awful... this guy requested a picture about 6 months ago, and due to having H1N1, many other requests, having a life, and other naughty things, I wasn't able to finish it. So he sent me a letter, telling me off for being such a heartless bitch. Well, go to hell, buddy. I don't need this kind of crap.
I want to quit drawing. I really do. I love drawing, but I really want to quit it. I want to become disabled so that I can't move my right arm and I have a sort of sickness that won't let me learn how to draw with my left hand, mouth, or feet. Sometimes the stress of it all makes me just want to cry.

So why? Why am I so damn spineless that I have to agree to everything people ask me to? Why can't I say no? I feel like Urad, this spineless, cowardly, brown-nosing character in my NaNoWriMo story. But I also feel like Doro, his brother that constantly abuses him. I hate myself, but I tell myself that life is to be enjoyed and I shouldn't. I promised myself to never think those "oh it's so confusing, meaning of life" thoughts. Not like I'd want to anyway, my style is very relaxed.
I'm closing requests and all projects except for my comics and stories after these. If anyone asks me to draw something, I'm going to learn to say no.

I've said all of this, but I still want to cry. I'm not good with deadlines, and what that guy said when telling me off still stings "To be honest your being a not very good creator by taking this long." I was FUCKING sick with H1N1, and when I get sick, it's almost always really, really bad! And I had to stay with my sister for awhile! Someone asked me to draw FIVE HUNDRED POKEMON. But I still feel bad.

Why am I repeating the last journal? Hell, I'm not repeating it... I've just been very depressed and stressed lately. So it's just the same mood. God, I want to cry... but I don't want to waste any more time. I have to get back to drawing...